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The Leader
The dance lead must be clear, firm and consistent, and executed at the
right time. Similarly, we don’t want the gal to get the wrong hint in a
relationship. A good leader listens to suggestion and advice from his partner
too. As always, the leader is responsible for everything that happens, good or
bad; although sometimes, there are exceptions. Very important, the leader has
to be right beside her when she is falling. In the dance, he can dip her to
cover up her mistake (or it could be his mistake, throwing her off).
The Follower
Like in a salsa dance, the guy being the leader does not mean he is
superior to the lady. He takes the lead, the lady helps/complements by
following well. But as soon as she realizes he is about to make a fatal
mistake (like cross lead turning her into the wall), it is time she puts her
foot down. A good follower, just like a good wife or girlfriend, helps to
cover up the leader’s mistakes on the dance floor/in public. She does not stop
the dance/intervene the husband in front of his friends immediately, but gives
comments and corrections in private.
The Learning Process
The learning process is as long as you keep dancing, and similarly, as long as
a couple stays in a relationship. This is because, people change when he/she
makes new friends, changes job, changes school, etc. Similarly, our dance
partner tries out new moves, new styling, and even their tension changes from
time to time; especially when he/she tries out another school, or dances with
many different partners. So we must continually adapt to these changes. In the
beginning you've got to take it real slow, so you two can face changes and
deal with them better. Just like if you spent a longer time in your salsa
basics, next time when you learn new difficult moves, it will be easier and
faster.
Controlling Emotions
During a dance, sometimes when we let our emotions run wild (maybe due to the
music or a bad day at work), we end up leading off-beat or too rough. In a
love life, it is also like that. We start behaving “off”, rough with our words
and actions, saying the right things at the wrong time (in parallel to being
off-beat in a dance).
Moving On
After polishing your lead/dance, if many dancers say you’re doing much better
now, and she is still the only one who disagrees, then you can skip asking her
for a dance. Probably she is biased in her own mind, or has some problems with
her own dancing. So go dance with other better dancers who appreciates your
effort and are still willing to give you feedback and comments. In a boy-gal
friend relationship, it is the same - some couples are just not meant to stay
together. Move on. So be very careful when you commit to a marriage.
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