I'd have to say that depends a lot on who your partner is, how much you know her, and what the situation is.

For me the primary key is that it's not just about eye contact. That would be just going through the motions. It's always a combination of eye contact and what you do with the rest of your face and body. What overall message you manage to get across.

Let's go through some possible scenarios, shall we?

a) You know her well and are cool with each other

This is a no-brainer. Have as much or as little eye contact as you want. Aim to have fun! I've done dances with friends where I exaggerate and stare in their faces as hard and long as I can throughout the entire dance. I've also - in good fun of course - purposely totally avoided any eye contact, keeping my nose haughtily in the air all the time. When you get to this type of level of comfort, you probably don't need to ask this question.

b) You don't know her well, but have observed she's an open, fun-loving type of gal

You can dance and engage her in conversation, try stupid moves, do fun things, and all these will naturally involve eye contact. The key is to get her to laugh. However, I must say that it's important you also show a modicum of respect and courtesy. I've seen some sleazy eyesores, tilting their heads close like snakes, staring eye to eye about two inches apart imagining they're exuding romance and passion. The only thing they're dripping is an oleaginous and disgusting lack of respect. Fun loving girls are nice because they tend to remove stress levels from you. Don't take liberties with that.

c) You don't know her well, and she looks serious

Maybe she's trying to get the technicalities right. Perhaps she's stressed, and has performance targets for the night. Try a few glances and smile to communicate you're friendly, but not be too heavy in the let's-be-pals-and-do-lots-of-fun-things department. People who are serious don't appreciate too much playing or fooling around. Give her as much eye contact is necessary to lead her well, smile and compliment as she does each move nicely. Looking too hard may spoil her concentration.

d) You don't know her well, and she looks nervous and worried

In cases like this, either she's more or equally inexperienced as you. Try to make some small talk while doing easy moves like cross body lead or basic step. That will naturally cause some eye contact. Forget about the dance and moves in this case. Your priority is to get her comfortable. Easy eye contact (for cripes sake above chest level) while you also look around for oafs and louts who might crash into you both. Your first dance may be only these. Don't do too many moves with this lady, and don't stare beyond what's natural for conversation and dance.

e) You don't know her well, and she's arrogant

It's very hard to keep any eye contact with someone like this because
a. You are probably regretting big time and this is one time you're hoping the DJ will spoil the ending of a song by cutting it prematurely. The last thing you want to do is dip this woman.
b. She's probably looking straight ahead without looking at you, or else giving you what's commonly known as "Da Look" when you fumble. All men have at earlier stages of their leading journey come across "Da Look" and remember it well.

Just try once or twice. If she doesn't return eye contact, suck it up and move on. Focus on many behind back moves like the basketball, behind-back turn, the mummy and so on that won't require that unpleasant experience.

You can see how a spreadsheet could easily be drawn up with all the possible permutations.

So as a general guide:

1. Overall body language and mindset is important, not just the eyes. Don't be expressionless. Looking alone is not enough, but combine that with how you conduct yourself and interact with your partner.

2. Have some intermittent eye contact, smile, but don't stare, grin or have your mouth wide open. Communicate courtesy and friendliness (you're not using her as an experimental prop); don't come across as a mindless or thoughtless cretin.

3. Show that you're looking out for her. Generally try to show you're enjoying the dance with her.

4. Don't put your face too close to the girl unless you really know her. That could be intimidating. And sleazy.

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